The Pursuit Of Normal

Carpe Diem, it's Y.O.L.O in latin

Fill The Tub Up Half-way, Then Ride It With My Surfboard…

on December 31, 2013

I started to write about Beyonce’s new album last night in relation to feminism and the female sexuality, and I had this whole to do about it, then this morning I woke up and checked my social media page and it’s like she was reading my thoughts and posted her explanation of what some would argue over-sensualized album. I’ve had this argument with my female relatives about her motive behind why her album is the way it is having seen the video of her explaining it, and they are very opposed to her ‘new’ adventures, or rather her going against her ‘Classy American Sweet-heart brand”. They feel it’s not appropriate for her to show what she shows now that she’s a mother. I don’t have children so I can’t just up and dismiss their point-of-view. The question Beyonce’s album raises is, Can women still be sensual after giving birth? Can men? In my point of view seeing as some of us are not only children the answer is yes, then why do women feel the need to mute their sexuality?I mean yes, there is a need to shield children from certain aspects of sensuality that they need not learn about at the moment, but still do you really have to turn it all the way down to “mom-jeans”?

My mother’s argument is that she would not want her children seeing her in that light , which is understandable just ask anybody who has ever walked in on their parents ‘pro-creating’ they would almost certainly say they’d give up anything to have that image erased from their mind. I mean even in the video Beyonce talks about being embarrassed to play the song for her husband (the recipient) , and refused to play it for her mother, this I feel highlights a deeper issue, which is addressed in another song by a speech by the writer Chimamanda Adichie, ‘That women are not raised to be sexual beings like men’. The last time I checked it takes two to make a child, so why can’t women be just as sexual as men? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that even in a home with two working parents that the women is still the primary caregiver… It would be a nice theory to test in homosexual couples raising children, which parent identifies as the primary caregiver, and see if their styles and behaviors have simmered down since baby. Anyway I’ll let Bey explain herself in the video below and ya’ll can judge for yourselves:

It was not my intent to make a post about Beyonce entirely, my iPod colors my life decisions some times. One can always tell the mood I’m in based on the genre I’m listening to, sometimes it’s the content, most of the times it’s the instrumentals, but what I wanted to talk about was brought about was: Sexuality, Feminism, Traveling, Book Adventures.

I’ve kind of delved into sexuality as much as I wanted to in the previous paragraph, and not to simplify the “F” word, I think the lovely photo pretty much sums up a long-winded paragraph I pretty sure I’m too lazy to write, but if anybody was curious about the segment Beyonce used in her song, I will place the full TED Talk below for your viewing pleasure, it’s funny and eye-opening at the same time:

I particularly like the part of the video where see discussed culture, my friend recently ‘enlightened’ me about traveling basically with no money, seeing as money is my real excuse for not doing a lot of things I want to do. I was born poor, raised poor, and finance my education on the sweat and hard work of my future earnings, this is not news. It is a shame however, as the saying goes ‘Poverty follows the poor” is very true, through hard work, I managed to earn twice as much as most of my roommates, but managed to have the least amount of money. Why? I live in an open system society, money goes in the door so it can go out the door, the cost of living is outrageous, and without stable parents, your sunk but I digress. Point is for the next 20 years I will still be poor despite my education, and there is really no point in delaying the things I want to do because of money, or rather the lack of having it.

So I want to fulfill a bucket list item and travel. I’ve always had a U.N assortment of friends since birth, so I know I won’t have a problem blending in where ever I may end up, and everybody I tell my plans to encourage me to do so, I get a lot of “This is the perfect time to do it in your life, no strings, no ‘real commitments’, etc.” I mean they obviously are at different stages of there lives, but at the same time, I know a woman who I love dearly whom almost 30 years ago left her 4 ‘old enough’ children 50 bucks, and went to Paris for two whole weeks! Now a days that be considered bad parenting to not tell your kids where you were going and leave them alone for two weeks, though she had an army of sisters to help them if they needed anything, so yeah backpacking around the world for a year with kids isn’t realistically doable, but a short vacation here or there with your partner in crime while the kids are away with Grandma… think about it.

Anyway I have a tendency to make lists and over analyze things and talk myself out of things I want, so I have now initiated a new mental process, I think of the most sensical, yet outgoing extroverted person you know and respect, and ask yourself what would they do in this situation, my person was personally infuriated by the fact that I obey crosswalk signs despite a mass group of people disobeying them. I am a goody two shoes, this is not news, I can hear him now ‘ Look no, we’re crossing the street, COME ON!’. Knowing this person led to some of the best times and people of my whole college career, and not to say they were reckless, they by some magic managed good grades, friends, clubs, and other obligations but still managed to be the life of the party. So as I think about my certain things I ask myself WWSD? And the answer usually consist of drinking, and being really social but it’s a start :). But for now I need a Passport, so that’s my short-term goal at the moment, gather enough money to buy/ apply for a passport.

I’ve watched the movie Emma if for no other reason than to avoid doing something moderately productive, but since I am on my Selfish journey, I really wanted to get back into reading, I use to be a heavy reader back in the day. I feel reading really opens up a persons imagination, how many times have you read a book and seen it become a movie and have been hugely disappointed in the actor choice because it had not matched up with your mental image of the character. I grew out of it before it really caught on but, my friends and I had made it a tradition to go watch the twilight movies, despite how god-awful they were, it completely ruined my mental images of the characters. And I want to say for the record, the author of that series is a freaking genius BECAUSE she didn’t give a in-depth detail of the characters features, she merely described them vaguely and called them perfect and allowed the reader to ‘fill-in’ what they considered perfect features, hence all the delusional swooning fans.

And since I went there, I also noticed you can tell a lot about a person based on which “team” they were on, Jacob, or Edwards. I’ll admit I’m Team Jacob, or was when I was ‘into’ that whole thing. My personal opinion of Edward was that his personality was that of an abusive boyfriend and control freak, but Team Edward fans seem to urn for a companion that is everything they think they lack, and are more willing to excuse his controlling flaw to be next to the ‘cute rich boy at school’ <—this is what we teach our girls to strive for rich and pretty, personality is not necessary. Moreover Team Jacob fans tend to urn for ‘comfortable’ they know he’s flawed, but he’s down to earth and you don’t have to pretend to be something your not. I was Team Jacob just because he seemed more realistic and attainable, people often dismiss the boy next door for Mr. Perfect, I like to believe that Team Jacobers are realists that root for the persistent underdog, despite how annoying it can be to be THAT persistent. I also hated the main character after book one, she lost her damn mind, independence, and personality after the first book, and showed classic signs of being in a abusive relationship, yet those books were best sellers (why America WHY?). Okay so I did not intend for this post to go in that direction but, like Degrassi ‘It goes there’.

Two point’s to Ravenclaw for those who remember Degrassi! And Ten point’s if you’ve actually have been sorted on Pottermore. :)


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